My wife and I have been raising three sons in this part of Brooklyn, and the morning that the news about the settlement broke I cycled up Willoughby Avenue toward the church. On the edge of a row of restored brownstones, it is notably unkempt: pink paint is peeling from the doors, and the iron fence along the sidewalk is broken in places. A white car rolled up, the flag of Puerto Rico dangling from the rearview mirror, and a large middle-aged man stepped out, wearing a T-shirt, jeans, and sneakers.
I cycled on, unsure how to respond. The situation was straight out of a college course on justice. A legal settlement had expressed an idea of justice as financial restitution; my neighbor had expressed an idea of justice as physical retribution. Neither felt like a way forward. Back at home, scrolling through BishopAccountability. John the Baptist Parish School. Failla, who served at St. Nelson, while serving at St. Mary Star of the Sea, in Carroll Gardens, visited the home of a teen-age altar girl on the pretext of paying a pastoral call to her sick grandmother, and molested the girl.
Father Romano Ferraro was posted to St. A more recent incident caught my eye: in , when my sons were in elementary school, the Brooklyn diocese removed Father Christopher Lee Coleman from the ministry for alleged sexual misconduct with a minor, though the diocese waited seven years to disclose its reason.
Coleman had once been in residence at Queen of All Saints, down Vanderbilt Avenue from our apartment. Like many Catholics, I wonder whether this story will ever be over and whether things will ever be set right. Often called a crisis, the problem is more enduring and more comprehensive than that. Social scientists report that the gravest period of priestly sexual abuse was the sixties and seventies, and the problem has been in public view for the past three and a half decades.
For most American Catholics, then, the fact of sexual abuse by priests and its coverup by bishops has long been an everyday reality. Priestly sexual abuse has directly harmed thousands of Catholics, spoiling their sense of sexuality, of intimacy, of trust, of faith. Attorneys general in more than a dozen states are investigating the Church and its handling of sexual-abuse allegations. And that is just in the United States. Priestly sexual abuse has had grave effects around the world, including in Rome, where the three most recent Popes have been implicated in the institutional habits of concealment or inaction, and where Pope Francis has yet to find his voice on the problem.
They have met with survivors and led Masses of penitence and healing; they have apologized and begged for forgiveness. The Vatican, meanwhile, now regards American bishops as masters at handling abuse allegations. In all of this, a distinctly American solution to the problem has emerged—the commissioning of an independent, secular authority to arrange settlements between the Church and survivors of abuse. This strategy has been taken up by an unlikely advocate: Cardinal Timothy Dolan, the archbishop of New York, and a traditionalist who generally relishes defending the Church against its adversaries.
Under Feinberg, the September 11th Victim Compensation Fund distributed more than seven billion dollars to fifty-five hundred claimants. After the Deepwater Horizon spill, in the Gulf of Mexico, Feinberg and his longtime associate Camille Biros distributed more than six billion dollars to two hundred and twenty-five thousand claimants. After the shootings at the Pulse night club, in Orlando, Florida, they worked, pro bono, to help distribute charitable donations to those affected.
An Independent Reconciliation and Compensation Program, run by Feinberg and Biros, began hearing and processing claims of priestly sexual abuse for the Archdiocese of New York in the fall of Feinberg and Biros subsequently established compensation programs in the Dioceses of Brooklyn which includes Queens and Rockville Centre Long Island , and upstate, in the Dioceses of Syracuse and Ogdensburg.
Their portfolio is expanding dramatically: five dioceses in Pennsylvania and all five dioceses in New Jersey have signed on, and multiple dioceses in Colorado and California are expected to do so later this year. Other I. Soon there will be Feinberg-branded I. The Church has paid survivors for decades. What makes this strategy different? Part of the answer is that Feinberg and Biros do. Over many years, they have maintained a reputation for probity and independence while disbursing some twenty billion dollars in funds. Critics of Catholicism from Martin Luther onward have faulted the Church for dealing with matters of sin and repentance through mechanical means: the system of indulgences, the confessional booth.
Is the Church today essentially outsourcing a reckoning with its past? Feinberg, who is seventy-three, grew up in Brockton, Massachusetts, and he speaks in a chowdery accent unsoftened by fifty years among the power brokers of New York and Washington. He is bald, wears tortoise-shell eyeglasses, and leaves his shirts open at the neck.
Biros, three years younger, has long, dark hair and favors loose blouses, slacks, and weapons-grade heels. Both are opera enthusiasts, and they with their spouses have followed many long days at their desks with long nights at the opera. Pope Francis had spoken of a Year of Mercy, urging Catholics to undertake acts of reconciliation and forgiveness, and Cardinal Dolan saw this as an opportunity to address priestly sexual abuse, at a time when the Church was under great pressure concerning the issue.
New York state legislators nearly passed a bill loosening the strict statute of limitations on sex-abuse lawsuits. When he was the archbishop of Milwaukee, from to , Dolan had instituted a settlement program of sorts, but it had gone awry. Engaging Kenneth Feinberg gave the Cardinal a chance at a dramatic, high-profile do-over.
The new program would offer compensation to survivors and would require them to sign releases forfeiting the right to sue the Church if the law changed later. The New York archdiocese, with 2. To fund it, the archdiocese took out a short-term loan against the mortgage on some property it owns: the block of Madison Avenue between Fiftieth and Fifty-first Streets, occupied by the Lotte New York Palace hotel.
The compensation programs for priestly sexual abuse are comparatively inexact: they involve weighing intangibles to determine, first, what happened, and then what sum of money represents appropriate compensation. When a diocese agrees to work with Feinberg and Biros, it sets aside a sum of money for compensation to survivors or indicates that it will pay claims as assessed. A diocesan review board usually made up of faithful Catholics in public life: judges, psychologists, law-enforcement officers may also provide an assessment.
If Biros approves the claim, she decides how much compensation to offer, weighing the nature of the abuse, how long it went on, how it affected the life of the claimant, and other factors. If the claimant accepts the offer, he or she relinquishes the right to sue the diocese but is not bound to confidentiality. Three hundred and ninety-four people applied. Biros accepted all but forty-eight claims. Only one declined the I. Individual payments ranged from twenty-five thousand to five hundred thousand dollars. In total, the program awarded more than sixty-three million dollars to claimants, with little controversy.
One reason for the high level of participation that Feinberg and Biros saw was a lack of alternatives: most claimants could no longer sue, because the alleged acts of abuse lay outside the statute of limitations, which, at the time, required a person to make a claim of abuse by the age of twenty-three. This strategy costs more, but it keeps dissension to a minimum. Drawing the line is tricky. In a claim of priestly sexual abuse, however, it is often hard to determine exactly what happened.
You told your therapist and the therapist made notes. In theory, by reviewing claims and setting compensation, I. In practice, Biros has done plenty of reconciling. These are people in damaged emotional states. They find themselves questioning their sexuality, their self-worth. We see P. We see people who have attempted suicide. This happened. We believe you. Last year, a claimant told the New York I. The abuse took place in the sacristy of St. Since , he had been a cardinal and the leader of the Washington, D. Throughout his episcopal career, he was trailed by talk that he routinely made seminarians under his supervision sleep in the same bed with him.
That history was kept semi-suppressed until the former altar boy came forward to the New York I. Dolan notified the Vatican and then initiated an internal investigation. It came to us, and it was a big deal, and it went up the chain, all the way to the Vatican. McCarrick, a family friend who had baptized him as an infant, began sexually abusing him in his teens. The abuse went on for many years, taking place in summer houses, a beach parking lot, hotels, cathedral rectories, and an apartment over Mount Sinai Hospital.
McCarrick was beaming. Last summer, McCarrick was removed from the College of Cardinals and exiled to a friary in Kansas; earlier this year, he was laicized—defrocked. A painful episode for the Church, it was a big win for the I. At a moment when it had become axiomatic that the Church was incapable of policing itself, a Church-sponsored program had pushed the archdiocese to acknowledge a truth that it might otherwise have continued to ignore.
But there are three more. I think we have a total of five. No matter what their scrutiny turns up about McCarrick, it is clear that Feinberg and Biros compelled the Church to take action against a powerful prelate whom it had protected for decades. Skeptics wonder whether the I. Priestly sexual abuse first got widespread attention in , when Jason Berry, a journalist and a Jesuit-educated Catholic from New Orleans, reported in depth on the issue in Louisiana. In Abbeville—Creole country—Berry sat in on the trial of Father Gilbert Gauthe, a priest of the Diocese of Lafayette who had sexually abused dozens of boys over a decade, while a bishop who knew of his behavior simply transferred him from parish to parish.
In Washington, Father Thomas Doyle, an aide to the papal nuncio, followed the case against Gauthe, and concluded that priestly sexual abuse was more prevalent than the U. In the next decade and a half, the scope of the problem became impossible to minimize. Law and his subordinates in the Boston archdiocese had disregarded warnings and repeatedly placed abusive priests in range of children. Cardinal Law sought to turn the controversy into a demonstration of his crisis-management prowess.
Ted Koppel asked him if he was pleased with how things had gone. What McCarrick offered was not a clear statement. It was a squirrelly evasion. That is, he phrased his answer to exclude the great majority of clerical abusers, himself first of all. Give him another chance. Its report , released in February, , presented a trove of data about abuse allegations across four decades. More than a third involved penetration or oral sex. Nearly a quarter involved abuse of children ten years old or younger. Bishops allowed most accused priests to continue in the ministry without treatment or discipline.
Gregory, the bishop of Belleville, Illinois—named the archbishop of Washington last week—presented the report in reductive, Church-protecting terms. When the Pope died, in , traditionalist Catholics called for him to be canonized, and he was, within eight years. His indulgence of Father Marcial Maciel—Legion of Christ founder, serial child abuser, the subject of formal complaints submitted to and buried by the Vatican in —was seen as a peccadillo.
And they have declined to address the problem of priestly sexual abuse in frank human terms. Instead, they have fallen back on the very practice that enabled abusive priests to thrive: dealing with sexual conflict through a blend of prudery, euphemism, and evasion.
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They place no restriction on the freedom of claimants to speak about what priests did to them. Meanwhile, Feinberg, Biros, and the bishops categorically decline to address particular claims that come in through the programs—except when the accusations are made against active priests. Last October, a claim of sexual abuse made through the New York I. That fell to the survivor, Michael Meenan, who, in a press conference outside St. The John Jay report found that many victims of priestly sexual abuse had come to know their future abuser outside of church, often because he was a friend of the family.
This is a truth well known to American Catholics. It is part of our personal story. Joyce, was the bishop of Burlington, Vermont. My father went to a Catholic seminary and then entered the civil service. My uncle Eddie, an altar boy that day, was less happy in the Church.
Years later, he told his sister that Father Joseph DiMaggio, who taught in the parish school, had nuzzled his face. When Eddie went home and told his father about it, his father told him never to speak that way about a priest again. The church of my childhood, in a suburb of Albany, was oblong, carpeted, and brightly lit. Unknown to most of us in the parish, a priest who served there, Gary Mercure, was a sexual abuser: in , he was convicted of raping two boys in the nineteen-eighties, during trips to rural Massachusetts.
Father Towle was a street priest, trim and no-nonsense in his clerical blacks. He was later accused of abusing a boy back in During my junior year, I had a more direct encounter with priestly abuse. Shortly after the retreat, Zogby offered to guide me in spiritual direction—a centuries-old Jesuit tradition. I accepted, and after that we met weekly, in the evenings. He was fifty, large, and bald, and he dressed in an oxford shirt and tie rather than a black suit and Roman collar.
He would close the office door, hug me, and pour two Scotches while we talked. We closed our eyes and prayed side by side in the small office. It was clear to me where things were going, but Father Zogby liked to say that the first step in the contemplative life was letting go of preconceptions and expectations—so I pushed my suspicions aside.
On a Monday in March—St. Yes, it is. I have been natural for 11 years now and I find that this article raised my natural hair IQ a great deal. I would love to know if there are specific things that you would like to see us write about as a natural hair veteran. What are those things that you struggle with? Feel free to send me a private message or email at kbyrdjr gmail. Very, Very informative. Those are very kind words and I hope that the community continues to be an asset for you.
Please continue reading articles, making friends, and giving us your feedback. If you would like to see more or less of something, just let us know. Aliyah — Wow! That made me smile. We love to hear feedback on what you would like to see more or less of in the future. This is your community. I have been natural for about a year now. I have really I mean really thick hair. Tired of spending money on products expensive and inexpensive and nothing seems to work.
I can definitely understand being frustrated with your hair. I hope things have gotten better for you. Can you explain what your current natural hair regimen is? Great article, very informative. Due to some rather unfortunate salon perms I got in the past, my edges are weak. If I pull my hair back for more than a few days I notice thinning. This is great for protecting ends, but is there a protective style to protect edges?
Right now I have my hair in twists and loose. Hi Teflon Mom, this is a great question and I would suggest a two things: When you twist your hair, instead of twisting them to the back or side, twist them so they will hang in the front, then connect them creating swish effect. If you are able to flat twist, flat twist the front part of your hair, ever so loosely to not put stress on your hairline.
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Is it your entire hairline across the front or certain sections that are delicate? Also, you may want to refrain from excessive combing and not brushing this area- only do so when absolutely needed. Outstanding article. The information I learn here and my renewed sense of purpose will be helpful in my journey as well as that of my daughters. Hie guys! I have been natural for a year or so my hair is very thick and thirsty. How do you guys manage to make your hair soft and manageable?
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I am in SouthAfrica,thanks in advance. Hi Nomvula! If your hair is dry, my 1st question is why? If you have hard water, you can start with purchasing a water softening system to combat the water issue. Also, you may want to read our articles on porosity. You mentioned that oils do not work for you, have you tried shea butter? You will use the shea butter as a sealer to keep the moisture trapped in your strands. Is your hair dry from root to tip or just at the tip?
Thank you for all this useful information. Congrats on starting your journey. Hie Jael,thanks for the tips. You are welcome for the tips. If you are not wearing protective styles and keeping your ends tucked away, you should start. You are probably experiencing high porosity on your ends. If you are interested, email me what products you are looking for and I can price them here and ship them to you. Email me for details. Put Product Shipment in the subject line. I really appreciate this site…you have a lot of great info.
Currently, I have ended my transition a couple of weeks ago when I cut off the remaining relaxed ends. I transitioned for 14 months. I thought my transition was over…think I was wrong.
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Half of my hair is nice and curly right side. And then on my left side.. I just want to find out where it all went wrong and what I failed to do. Will it all eventually be the same? Plz help! For starters, you mention heat damage- it is possible to have heat damage in one area and not another. Heat damage does not have to be uniformed, it can be in random places on the strand. Another explanation is curl pattern and texture. I personally have at least 3 that I can identify… lol My front is straight on the ends and the longer it goes, the straighter it gets.
It is still strand in the front. I just accept the straightness and work with it. Now my crown area has a coarser texture, the most shrinkage and the tightest curls. You may not have done anything wrong, give yourself time to adjust to the big chop and experiment with what your hair can do. To wear a wash and go, you can coax a curl using clips.
Swirl the hair like you would do a pin curl and clip it in place with a mental clip. I use this method for my front straight parts. Also, I would put on my satin cap as to give it shape. I say give it time and work with what you have. Keep me posted on your progress!
Is that smart for someone with delicate edges. I cut my hair last fall to go natural and i have been keeping it covered with weaves and braids. Do you have any more specific questions that we may be able to help you with? My hair was a mess. Before I transitioned I wondered what people would think of my natural hair, but quickly came to embrace it and not care what others thought. Never again will I relax…never! Hi Natural E-Fab — Thanks for sharing your story. I would love to know more about the specifics of what went wrong when you big chopped.
Lets chat when you have a chance. It really depends on how long your hair is to determine how long it will take to grow out the relaxer along with the growth rate. This will give you a good estimate. Its that too much? Generally speaking, we recommend washing your hair once per week. Then, you should begin to adjust depending on what your hair needs. You will ultimately find the sweet spot for your hair.
I also caution you to review your entire regimen, not only how often your washing your hair. MyNewHair — Yes, we typically define natural hair as relaxer free hair, so using that definition you definitely have natural hair. Hello, I am transitioning and I really do not want to do a big chop, I have had chemicals in my hair for well over half of my life, while I know and understand this will not be an easy journey, is there anything you could give me advice wise that will shed some light while on this journey.
I have seen people natural and its pretty, but most times they tell me that they have big chopped, I have a really nice length of hair and I do clip my ends often, but is there anything else that you could recommend that will help me along the way. My hair is a good mix of wiry and spongy if that makes sense, my mom has natural hair that is a little thick and curly and my dad has really fine curly hair and I guess I am the one in between with the spongy wiry combination.
Congrats on your decision to go natural. As far as going natural, you can do that a couple of different ways: big chop or transition. Now you have already made the decision to transition — which is perfectly fine. I would recommend that you read our How to Go Natural guide, there is a link in the right sidebar. It will show you how to start a regimen, create a journal, and much more. You can also review the resource page see the navigation menu to select a set of starter products.
After you read through those resources, please us know if you have anymore questions. Finally, good luck. Take care. Nice article! I been wearing a faux hawk and a curly fro. I really like the article could you put in some protective hairstyles that are authorized by the military? ANy help you can lend to this would be appreciated. I would suggest that you try wearing updos for your military duty.
Jael spent quite a few years in the Navy and can speak directly to some styles that may be acceptable by military standards. However, my hair was quite long and I kept it in a sock bun, flat bun and I wore braids. Be sure to look at all races, not just one. Another option is to definitely consider having a longer transition period until you are comfortable with styling your hair per the military rules and regs.
Have you tried curly styles? To me, curly styles are easier to maintain and they are PT friendly : You mentioned breakage. Aside from the breakage from weaves and braids, they are probably experiencing breakage at the line of demarcation were the relaxer meets the natural hair. This is definitely one of the weakest points of the hair during transitioning. If this is the case, I would definitely suggest deciding whether you prefer to wear your hair straight or wear it curly.
This will help minimize the stress that is put on maintaining more than one type of hair on the head. Also, keep the hair conditioned as much as possible. I would love to speak with you more and want to stay updated on what styles you come up with. So, keep me posted. Hi i am a newbie, i started my jouney in Janurary,and my hair is doing some strange things.
I went on youtube acouple of days ago and there is so much info out there. What is the deal with the ECO style gel and the kinky curl gel. Help please. What do you mean you you what is the deal with ECO style gel and kinky curl gel? Can you add more context to your question? Hello all. I am planning for a very large Natural Hair event in Washington DC and am looking for community support of Naturals and Natural supporters.
I can give more information if anyone is interested. Please email me. God Bless. I too have a few questions, but will save them for later, I am still trying to see how this forum stuff works, lol. I look forward from hearing from others! Tina — Thanks for sharing. Something to consider for you is to create a natural hair journal. Some days I find myself writing more down vs.
Im getting tired of nappy hard hair my hair wont grow. Its frustrating. Mostly all the girls with straight and soft hair have long hair. Long hair is a combination of internal and external components. Generally, as long as you are relatively healthy internally , your hair is growing because growth is an internal process. Externally, specifically, your hair habits, have to align with your hair goals. If you are constantly snipping and trimming, roughly handling, over manipulating, heat damaging, etc… your hair will never reach it maximum potential.
Hi Tina, If you were able to care for your daughters hair and it has grown down her back, surely you can apply the same techniques to your hair as well and have great results. Thank you for the wonderful compliment and we hope that you continue to find the information useful. If you have any questions, please let us know. Greetings, great site, very informative and detailed.
I did the BC Sept and I am loving being natural and relaxer free. Thanks for such a great site. Wnada — Very nice.
Hope the natural hair journey is working well for you. Congrats on your BC. This is very informative…but I am brand new to this natural thing and all this looks foreign to me. Thanks in advance! Lydia — Congrats on your BC. I hope your natural hair journey is going well. Sometimes it can take a little time to figure out exactly how to care for your hair.
Which products are you using within your regimen? How are you caring for your hair? I just wanted to say that I love this article and that I am new to natural hair transition. So after I went off to college I started transitioning for about 6 months no perms or flat irons and then got my hair cut in Feb 4, I did not get the big chop but I only have a little more to go I have a good bit of hair left. I love my hair and love being different from people with the traditional straight hair. My question is my hair is somewhat curly but what are some products to really define my curls and not be frizzy.
Some parts of my hair is really curly and then some of it doesnt curl like I want it to. What can I do? Tanisha — Are you still in the process of transitioning from relaxed to natural hair? Let me know…thanks. Good morning, your Natural Hair was very encouraging and helpful. Hi, thank you so much for this article. Keep in mind that starting any new adventure can cause nervousness; however, I want to encourage you to give yourself room to error and experiment to find what works for your hair.
This is the beginning of a journey, enjoy it and have fun along as well. Wonderful article Kenneth. Who would I contact about people who would be interested in participating in a Natural Hair Expo coming up in There is a panel discussion and we would love to include a variety of people. My daughter went natural last year, I was so impressed with her courage and strength at 19, where in NYC long hair relaxed hair seems to be a big thing, she gradually cut her long hair length was to her breast , and now its so beautiful, that I decided to do so and I really love it.
I am so curious about my new texture, co-washing and various natural oils to use, I wish I had done this years ago. Keep writing and thanks again!! Hi Dana! Thank you for your kind words and we are happy that our information is helpful. Congrats on your journey and double congrats to your daughter — that is very inspirational. Continue to discover your hair and you will be amazed.
I would love if you would keep us posted on your journey. Great article. Like most sites you say to use protective styles. With a twa this is not possible. My hair is grey and has multiple textures. Most of the curl puddings leave my hair crunchy, so those went out the window. I wash weekly and spritz with h2o, leave in conditioner and oil every day. Any suggestions? Hi Pamela! The great ability of a twa is that the style within itself is a protective style. The hairs are tightly together packed down and the hair is not brushing the shoulders. So in essence, a TWA is a protective style within itself.
The idea is to be sure to protect your hair at night and keep it moisturized and supple and using protein when you need to. How are you incorporating protein into your regimen. I found this article to be very helpful. Do you think going natural would help? Hi Dee, I am excited that you found the information helpful and you are in the right place. I share that if you are taking medication that is affecting your strands, not relaxing your hair is definitely a benefit.
I would definitely bing or google your medication to see what others experiences have been. Speak with your physician as well as they can offer a different perspective. I know that certain blood pressure meds can affect your hair but so can having a baby or anything that make your hormones increase or decrease. Imwas going to transition, but I decided to go with the BIG cut after my hair on the right side kept breaking. I hear stories about employment, but I have been on my job for 30 years it would be crazy for them to mess with me. I feel good going about what ia am about to do. I am going with the short cut….
I will post how I feel after the BIG cut happens. Please be sure to tell us how it goes. Just let us know. Kennneth, You took the words right out of my mouth… Marsha, be sure to take pics definitely a before and after. Great information and I look forward to scouring and obtaining all the knowledge I can. Thank you for sharing! Just did my big chop two nights ago,so ready to start this natural hair journey!. This site is so far helpful in my time of need. Please let us know if you have any questions during your journey.
I have a concern, I swim often and I was wondering what I can do to reduce or stop the negative results of chlorine in my hair? Should I wash and deep condition after a swim? When you say that your hair is hard, can you provide more detail. Also, can you discuss which products you currently use on your hair? Thank you so much! This articled was much more informative than the people I interviewed, especially since I have dandruff extremely bad.
I was confused about what moisturizers to use. Again, thank you so much. I read Dr. This article was a plus for me. I strated my natural journey in May of this year bc. I love the journey! My hair is natural but I had been braiding it for over 5 years and it became very weak, light with lots of split ends and most of my hair on the hairline came out I cut it 2 months ago to the size of 1 inch. It is now grown to almost 2 inches and gaining body but quite soft.
What can I do to make it harden abit. I hate it that soft. Hi Jamish! Your hair can definitely benefit from adding protein treatments to your regimen for strength and structure. Namely, Aphogee type products. If you decide to add protein, come back and let us know how it worked for you.
Hi, this article was very helpful! Do you moisturize your hair everyday or every other day? Does that depend on your hair? Hi Shelby, Thank you for your comment! Depending on the look you are going for, will greatly determine if you want to add a water base product or an oil base product to your hair. However, when I am wearing a stretched style and I do not want shrinkage, I will use an oil based product, staying clear of wetness. First of all, I was never given the gift of doing hair lol. Sorry I pressed the enter button by accident lol.
But is there any advice you can give? I one shade away from perming my hair! Hi Hazel- Oh my goodness… I think we are cut from the same cloth! However, I have learned to do a few quick styles that I think are super. I think what has helped me with my natural texture is knowing how to braid, twist and using bobby pins. I have had several requests for styles and I am working on getting some together and posting.
Kenneth wrote a great article about creating a regimens, check it out! This has been very helpful on the shedding, moisturizing, and more! Any help, please? Thank you so much for commenting. Heat damage is havoc on natural hair. Depending on the severity of it. Now, there is no way to UN damage the strands at best you can strengthen them. Protein treatments like Aphogee 2 Step are best at stopping breakage in its tracks. Learning to style your hair without using heat will be beneficial for you. This article was very informative. I still have not figured out what type of hair I have.
I learned of porosity through this article and I believe I have low porosity hair. Originally, the thought of not washing my hair and simply co-washing seemed nasty and unclean. When I say bad I mean it looks like I am standing on a hair rug in the shower. It is everywhere, on the walls, on the shower curtain, on my face, on my shoulders and other body parts, it is a mess.
That is when I tried to co-wash and I washed my hair every days and bam very very little shedding. I also use the leave in conditioner. I did not know that product is not supposed to remain white on your hair after application. This too let me know that I have low porosity hair. Side note: my hair is extremely thick, so the extreme shedding is not noticeable what-so-ever.
I wear my hair in cornrows everyday with a wig on top. I have yet to trim my ends since I did the big chop. I was trying to do the transition technique of simply growing my hair out. But that was horrible working with two different types of hair permed and natural. So I went to a beautician and had her cut all my perm off.
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Now, that I am writing about it it seems like it is about time I get my ends trimmed. Also, my hair is around 5 inches long. I used my cell phone to measure my hair, lol, iPhone 5c. It is a finger nail length longer than the phone. I have not found any beautiful natural styles to try. All the beautiful styles are for long or very long natural hair. I do not care for an afro, ON ME. I have to be careful of looking too masculine that can be very easy for me. Right now and to me, I look a bit manly when I wear my afro.
However, I do enjoy wearing my afro. But, I am married and that is not what my husband married. My hair is on my body and blah blah blah. But, that is changing things that attracted my husband to me. That is like my husband being attracted to very large Nicki Minaj like butts and I go get a butt reduction.
But, he saw how passionate I was about going natural. So, I still need to keep it feminine and attractive all while being natural. Last thought, I have a very difficult time trusting people in my hair. When I was on the creme crack it was hard. I do not want to go through this with my natural hair that I have been actually paying attention to and learning to love for almost a year now.
I do not want someone to mess it up. I worked hard on these 5 inches. Also, I have dusty like brown hair. I want to color it wither a richer brown or maybe black. Is that a bad thing? My natural hair color makes my hair look as if it is dirty, dry, damaged and unhealthy. But, it is not, it just looks that way.
It took me to go natural to realize that my hair is not damaged it is just an ugly brown. OMG, Natalie, you are hilarious!! Thank you for your reply. I apologize that it didn't include information on trimming. But I can give you some insight, right now. Trimming is one of those personal choices because the frequency can change depending on who you ask.
There is the mind set of trimming on a frequent schedule, around every 6 weeks or so, or some predetermine criteria. This frequency is thought to prevent damage before it starts. The hair is trimmed even though there is no visible damage. But if growth is your goal trimming frequently feels counter-productive. However, if you wear your hair straight and need your hair to be even, trimming frequently is more ideal and appealing. If you are scissor happy, trimming often can result in taking off more than intended. On the other hand, trimming less often and when there is visible damage will allow you to trim damage that is seen and or felt.
Particularly, single strand knots and split ends and cut right above it. If your hair isn't worn in a straight style, then having an even hemline probably isn't a big deal. If you have a length goal, trimming less frequent is more appealing because over time, you will actually see the progress. Hair that is kept mostly in protective styles would benefit from the occasional trim. Coloring your hair darker is not bad. Generally, people run into problems they color it too light. I am very protective about my hair as well. I completely understand where you are coming from.
You will find that no one knows your hair as well as you do. Basically, I suggest interviewing them. The key is to not need a stylist but to want one because you don't want to do it yourself. However, if you need to, you will. Needing one creates a recipe for settling for less than what you generally would. Here is a blog post that is for looking for as stylist to big chop you and I think it is applicable when looking for a stylist in general.
One thing that will never get old is a recommendation from a repeat customer that is satisfied. So talk to other naturals in your city who have color. They may recommend a stylist, then you can start the interview I find this article very helpful and informative. Too many relaxers and weaves is breaking off my hair. Do I get the big chop off? Hi Phephe K! I completely understand your hesitation for starting your journey as you describe your hair as the most kinkiest. What you are feeling and experiencing is very real and honestly, it is very common.
I would only suggest big chopping when you are ready and if you are ok with having short hair. However, if you decide that you are not ok with big chopping, you will need to transition to natural hair. Take a really good look at your hair, write down what is contributing to your hair breakage.
What things can you change in how you handle your hair? Once you address these things, you can start doing them as you transition. Ultimately, the decision to big chop or to transition to natural hair is yours. I have recently started to think about going natural again as I feel relaxing it all the time and getting appointments is long.
I was wondering if I keep plaiting it and so on will the relaxed ends gradually fall off? Or would I have to trim it? And how long from transitioning will fully natural? Also what are hot oil treatments? Congrats on your start on going to university! I can tell you that transitioning is going to be hard.
Because this is your journey, make sure that you deciding to transition is your decision. Also, speak with your mum mom to see if she will support you in that decision. It would be great if she would. Yes, if you continuously plait your hair, you will get more and more new growth and some of the relaxed ends will break off and the remaining relaxed ends will need to be trimmed.
You will be fully natural as soon as you no longer have relaxed ends attached. So if you big chopped, you could be fully natural tomorrow. If you decided to transition, you will be fully natural when all the relaxed ends have either broken off or have been trimmed. Please help it will mean the world to me. If you want to in make sure that you are maximizing your growth, make sure you are properly hydrated, exercising and eating enough nutrition. After reading the article, think of areas that you can improve, make a plan and take action! Your article is inspirational. The feedback and comments from readers also helpful.
Please can I get a link to learn how to do finger curls, I am not able to watch youtube on my phone. Keep up the good work. Hello I just stumbled upon this website this morning and I thank the heavens that I did! I am thinking of going natural but I have no clue on how to begin. I have a really long hair but I suffer from hair breakage and dandruff.
How do I start exactly? What is the very first thing that I should do? I want to transition first instead of a full BC. Thanks for your help. And you have an amazing blog.
Hi Ann, The very 1st thing is to make a decision. See you are already on a roll! Transition is a game of patience. Start paying attention to how your new growth behave with products and how your relax hair behave as well. The balance is to keep the relax hair strengthen so that it does break off. Hi there, every time i used to check weblog posts here in the early hours in the daylight, as i love to find out more and more. May 28th was the day I did my BC. I felt really sad and said now is the time. I come from long hair that over the years got shorter and shorter and seemed to would not grow in certain places.
It may grow an inch or two and stop while the rest of my hair would grow like weeds. This took a lot of courage for me to do. I am proud of my short fro and once I added some eye makeup, earrings and lipstick, I realized I really like it! It felt freeing. This time I am neither teamrelaxer or teamnatural. I am teamhealthyhair! Thank you so much for a great site. I hot oil once a month, treat with protein once a month too and wash twice each month. My hair is stucked! Not growing am i missing something???
As a result all of the relaxed hair dropped off bit by bit. After reading this article, I have learned a lot. I need you to pls tell me the exact products I need to buy to start with. I want to color my hair golden brown n treat it naturally, n I would love for it to evolve to curls. Pls advice me on products. I have just decide to stop putting perms in my hair.
I will admit I am scared. I started today using Argan Products and my hair feels really good. I did notice my scalp stared to itched. So I put oil directly on my scalp and that help. Your article has been helpful. I will be doing some of the things you mention. Hi Linda- congrats on your decision to stop relaxing! Thank you for letting me know that the information has helped you. If you have any more questions, please let me know. The one I have on now is a twist out with my relaxed-nartural hair.
But the centre of my scalp has been itching me for years and I find myself pulling at it to get some relief. What could be the cause and what can I do to remedy it? Hi Mirabelle, Congrats on your natural hair journey and please sign up for the newsletter! On to your question, an itchy scalp can be caused by numerous things: Dandruff, otherwise known as seborrheic dermatitis, Allergy or sensitivity to hair products, including hair dye and other chemicals.
Scalp psoriasis, Excessive scratching can introduce bacteria or fungus into the layers of the scalp Acne Stress and Anxiety Obesity Inflammatory and autoimmune disorders, such as lupus and hypothyroidism Infection and Allergies Head lice Allergic contact dermatitis or irritant contact dermatitis, such as from a hair dye Folliculitis infection of a hair follicle Fungal infection tinea capitis, ringworm or bacterial infection of the scalp Sunburn.
The list can be long and extensive. One immediate thing that you can do yourself is evaluate the products and techniques you use on your natural hair. I once tried Nexxus Split End Remedy and my scalp itched profusely non stop for 3 days. I put oil on my scalp to help, but that only gave a very short temporary. The only thing that stopped the itching was rewashing my hair using a shampoo and conditioner that I was familiar with and taking the Nexxus Split End Remedy back to the store for a refund.
You mentioned that your scalp has been itching for years and I am sure that you have changed products a few times. With that assumption, I would definitely suggest making a derm appointment. An itchy scalp is no way to start off your new journey. I also wanted to learn about the process of taking care of your hair. My hair gets dry very fast, and I tend to get split ends very easily. So my questions are 1. Why does hair get dry really fast and how you can prevent that when your styling your hair? When conditioning and shampooing, how many times are you suppose to wash and repeat?
What are some styles that are good for transitioning natural hair? Is it each month your suppose to trim your hair or is that bad for your hair? Again I thank you for your article. You guys did a really good job and I appreciate your time. Hi Michelle, Congrats on your transitioning journey and I am happy that you found the article helpful. Yes, your sister is right, your hair is dead. Hers, mine, heck ALL hair on our head, body, everywhere above the skin is dead.
The hair on our head is alive on a cellar level beneath our scalp. You have great questions, btw! Generally, hair that wets very easily and get dry really fast is categorized as high porosity hair. I suggest using protein based conditioners or protein treatment to temporarily mend the strand. Always follow up a protein treatment with a non-protein conditioner for best results.
I suggest cleanse your hair until it feels clean. The length your hair needs to have your hair braided depends mainly on the braider. Heck, I know and have heard of ladies that can start a braid on a grain of rice! Imagine those rice braids being about the size of very small micros or zillions, depending on where you are from. Curly styles are good for transitioning hair because they will keep your textured hair better preserved. Michelle, you are welcome and I want to encourage you to join the newseletter , too!
It will be a delight to have you on board!! I need your advice please,. The best way to conquer the fear of natural is with facts, action and the realization that all natural hair is not alike and the difference is the beauty. So my question to you is what do you call your hair? How do you define? Useful information. I bookmarked it. My hair has been relaxed since the end of sixth grade. I wanted it to grow but was stuck between not really knowing how and not caring, brushing it into ponytail almost every day.
Though I know that the results can differ, they have healthy-looking hair-a huge booster of courage. I need selling points for them. Also, mother has straight hair, which means that if I start listing my reasons for wanting to go natural, she might take offense to it. Any advice on how to go about this? Is there any truth to these claims? My hair is fairly dark at the roots, then turns visibly lighter shades of brown. Could this be a result of sun damage? Is this kind of thing bad for the hair?
Just thinking about this is giving me a headache. This comment is mostly a rant, no? Thank you some much for posting your comment. It appears that you have thought through your options and have come to very logically conclusions. As a parent, I appreciate the fact that you have taken your parents thoughts and considerations into account as you are thinking about starting your natural hair journey.
I would encourage you to definitely communicate your desire to go natural with parents. Showing and expressing to them that you have a growing interest in natural hair could be enough. Plus, you will need the support of your parents as you journey through. So you want them to support the idea. No parent wants their child picked on or bullied. Natural hair and the way it looks, feel and behavior hits home differently with different people.
Then the person would need to associate positively with natural hair. This often require redefining what beauty means when it comes to hair to include the natural hair they see every single day in the mirror or their loved ones. After redefining, acceptance is follows and possibilities of actually going natural emerges.
Transitioning is the easiest on the natural and her loved ones. Transitioning gives the loved ones a change to transition as well. Big chopping is more dramatic and gives no time to gradually process the changes as they happen. Our newsletter has alot of information that you will find helpful thorough you process. This is called stretching. As you are stretching the time between your relaxers longer and longer. Hello how are you? His hair is getting bald spots and he suffering from trying to have it grow. I had cut my hair a while ago and my top is long and my back is short.
I use to think that having natural hair was not cool but now I want my hair to be longer and fuller. I understand what this article is saying but idk where to start for some reason because I process things differently. We heard that getting organic, unrefined, and cold pressed products are better. Is that true? How can I get my hair long and fuller like some natural ladies online?
What products should my brother and I use? Be sure to join the newsletter. Then for my primary school graduation my mom permed my hair, and since then she has cut it and permed it, mainly because she liked short hair, which i hated but i had no say in my own hair. My hair got completed damaged from all its been through, like its tired of all of the torture, my hair never really had time to breathe. Now recently my mom said that I should cut of alllllllllll of my hair and go back natural smh. April 19th, I big chopped. To be honest, I hate,hate,hate!
Hey Mieka, Thank you for your comment and I can definitely direct you in building a regimen and give you some advice on styling. Simply put, your regimen is what you do to your hair on a regular basis. For instance, when you were relaxed, you had a regimen. Big picture you simply went to the shop every 2 weeks or so. But the question is, what happened to your hair while there?